The Difference Between Obsession, Discipline and Motivation

This is key to your teenager's revision

When we consider people that we admire,

We often consider them superhuman.

Usain Bolt must have remarkable discipline.

The Rock or Mark Wahlberg must have unmistakable motivation.

But is this a true reflection on how they got to where they got to?

Sure, the result looks a lot like discipline and motivation,

But is that where it starts?

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I was listening to a podcast,

Credit to Chris Williamson,

And he was discussing this difference.

Between obsession, discipline and motivation.

He posed that what looks like discipline and motivation,

Often is just obsession.

It is less of a choice,

Then a state of being.

A compulsion.

Now I can imagine how this can be interpreted negatively,

At least motivation and discipline in theory are things one can muster,

Perhaps the reason you are not motivated enough is simply because of a lack of trying,

And therefore, if you try harder,

And become more disciplined,

Maybe you will do better.

In comparison,

This theory may make you think that you either have ‘it’ or you don’t.

You can’t fake obsession.

And therefore, if you are someone who lacks obsession,

Perhaps you are never going to achieve the heights that other people can.

Maybe worse,

You might think that you are broken.

I would love to share a different perspective.

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In my opinion,

School and society at large bring us up to stifle our instincts.

Take the education system for example.

We are channelled to sit archaic and rigid exams,

Testing rote memory and often calibre of teaching,

And we are told in subtle and less subtle ways that these grades will be defining.

Furthermore,

There are rules that further stifle creativity and uniqueness – be that behaviour, uniform or many other things.

I believe that these constructs try and force discipline and motivation on very specific,

Academic,

Areas.

And then if this doesn’t appeal or work for the individual,

They feel less than and often hopeless.

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Instead,

We should be championing obsession.

I know how this sounds.

Obsession feels like a negative word.

Firstly, what about all of the negative obsessions.

There are so many vices in the world – we don’t want to be obsessed with those.

Secondly,

Even if the obsession is broadly not destructive,

What about balance?

These are both great points that are worthy of thought.

Perhaps focusing on obsession won’t work for everyone.

However,

I think for most people, obsession is related to passion.

And finding and channelling that passion is often what leads to a fulfilled life.

Yes, there are many vices, and we shouldn’t necessarily be encouraging obsession in these areas.

But to take one example,

An obsession with fitness and food can certainly be destructive,

But it also can be extremely positive and fulfilling.

There are two sides to the coin in almost all areas,

And whilst for some people the risk is not worth the reward,

I wonder if we had a culture that saw obsession as positive, within certain parameters,

More people would have positive relationships with their passions.

My gut instinct is that for many people the negative outcomes they receive from their obsessions,

Are less due to the nature of the obsession itself,

But more due to a broader unhappiness with their life,

Or with the way society has treated them.

As such, we shouldn’t be blaming obsession and thus restricting passion,

We should be looking at the wider environment affecting the individual.

And perhaps, an obsession based on their passion may be a route to greater fulfilment.

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For Revision

For me,

The consequence for your teenager’s revision is this.

The way school is constructed is certainly not for everyone.

And the individuals who do well due to seemingly dedicated work and effort aren’t doing ‘better’ because they are ‘better’ people than you.

They are doing better as they find it easier to naturally obsess over these disciplines.

Knowing that you are not a failure because you can’t muster the motivation and dedication that others can is important.

Stopping the self-castigation I believe will lead to better outcomes and allow you to focus your attention on the areas of school that feel more intuitive to you.

This doesn’t mean don’t revise when things that don’t come naturally,

But it does mean don’t castigate yourself for a lack of super-human discipline.

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I hope you all have a great week ahead,

Best,

Joel

P.S. If you have a question or want some advice you can contact me at joel@ilscoaching.co.uk